I miss being young. I mean I guess I'm still pretty young, I turned 20 earlier this year, so even if you're just a bit older, (my Mother namely, I can't imagine that many 40somethings casually read this blog on Sunday evenings) you'll probably tell me to shut up right now. No, because despite what appears to be a pessimistic article on the basis of the first four words, I'm going somewhere with this, so bear with me. Cool.
I don't actually miss being young as such, I like the fact I live away from home and can do my washing up whenever I feel like it, get in at 4am and play Mario Kart until 6. I like being able to drink and generally just do whatever the hell I like. The fact I can jump on a train and go see my mates or my football team at the drop of a hat. I like going to live music on my own, without permission, because y'know, Monday is a school night. I like where I am now, and love my life. It's pretty great. But, I still feel like I'm growing up a little bit too fast. I miss the days of playing football at Chapman's house and practising our goal celebrations to "That's the Way I Like it". I miss seeing Ruth Jones and Becky Brown every day in Sixth Form and doing nothing in our free periods. I miss my Gap Year with the boys, sharing McFlurry's with Jonny in Brisbane, me and Nick zorbing, navigating Rick across California, and losing Muc in the Malay rainforest. The beautiful thing about all these memories is that I just enjoyed being there. I can't remember worrying about about where I was going, or even what I was going to eat that night. I just enjoyed myself.
Which is why I'm so keen to enjoy myself now just as much, because in the foreseeable future my "youth" will be over, I'll have to get a job, loans, rent a flat and do grown up things like that. Why shouldn't I go to the pub, play football three times a week and stay up ridiculously late with my mates? At the end of the day, I think these are the times and the memories I'll remember when I'm 48. I'd hate to look back and think that I never made the most of the opportunities and freedom I had when I was 20. I'm beginning to sound like the opening credits of Trainspotting, but still. You only get so long on this planet, and I want to experience it for all its worth while I can. It's a good lesson to learn, and agreeably a compromise between work for later, live for today must be met in good balance.
I suppose this profound(!) blog has been brought on by a huge indecision about which career path to take. This is my attempt to justify not having my life planned. I think my problem is not that I'm indecisive, but that I don't want to restrict my options and pursue something which might not work out. Usually things tend to work out though, so hopefully this will be the same. If not I'll just sit on a street in San Francisco, preaching to the Yuppies enjoying their Starbucks the true meaning of life, vocally rather than through a blog.
